College

It's been a while since I blogged. I've been meaning to I've started several posts in my film classes, mostly about how annoying everyone is, but I haven't had a chance to finish any of them.

It is the beginning of my sixth week of college. It's gone by so fast. It's hard to believe that its been 8 weeks since I left Aspen. I miss it. Not so much the town, but the security and familiarity it provides. I also miss my high school. Not something most people think about, but I liked high school. I was comfortable there and I understood the status quo. I miss knowing who the actors were and feeling comfortable saying things like "Hey, want to be in my short film? I need a guy to play a dad." I also miss my theatre teacher. She's awesome.

I really like my Writing and Rhetoric class. I have a great teacher and we have great lectures and discussions. I like class and I even like the reading we do, but I don't like the essay homework. I guess, because its college she's more critical, but I am not any better. We are supposed to be doing personal narrative papers that are also analytical about so aspect of culture, but I don't know how to do both. Our subject options are as follows:

"Image and Identity

You can be specific and tell a story about your name such as how you feel about having been named after someone in your family, having the same name as your best friend, or how your names don't really fit you. Or you can take a more general approach and write about what it means to you to be labeled with a racial category, how you respond to cultural labels such as being called "all boy," "girly," a "WASP," a "redneck," etc.

How do images of you help or hinder your ability to "see" yourself? How does your use of photography influence how others see you? Maybe tell the story of a photograph that is important to you. Describe the image and then tell what it means or what it shows in terms of cultural beliefs, patterns, tendencies, or myths. You might think about things like the motion of family, friendship, race, class, gender.

Place/ Space and Identity

Can you think of a place that always makes you comfortable or uncomfortable? To what do you ascribe that sensation? What is the relationship between architecture or urban planning and the behavior or attitude of the people in those designed spaces? How many places can you think of that are critical to who you are? In what ways do our places make us who we are? What about those places where you don't fit, where you feel awkward? Is it possible that the place itself (not just the people in those places) in inclusive or exclusive? How?"

I have nothing to say. Absolutely nothing. I understand what she wants me to write about and I have thoughts, but I don't think that any of them can be developed into a 3 page paper. She kept talking about how it should be one well developed idea, well I don't know if I can do that. I don't if I have one idea that can be fleshed out that much.

My First Year Seminar class is the bane of my existence. It's not the class itself, but rather the teacher and the other people in it. They just are not my crowd and none of them try. I am barely trying and compared to them I'm an overachiever. It's annoying and I don't like it. I'm trying not to let their lack of motivation affect me. I don't want to start using them as my measure. I came from a school of overachievers and so I was used to having something to strive for. Here the kids seem to be much less worried about grades and class. It's a little disorienting. I'm not sure I like it.

I also really like Moving Image Arts. We discuss movies and its just nice. I think there is a little bit of the element that causes problems in literature classes. Sometimes I think that my teacher is looking for meaning that isn't there and its just as annoying as it is in english class.

I have a really hard time in my Moving Image Production class. It feels like a science class. I am just as helpless in this class as I have always been in science class. I do think it is a good idea to try everything, but the more I try the more it seems like I belong behind the camera, dealing with the actors and the department heads and they can deal with all of the technology. I don't think I'm going to be very good at that stuff. I just am more of a big picture/ idea person.

School so far has been quite the adventure. Outside of school I haven't made really any friends yet, but I did join the Harry Potter club, so that should change when meetings start up. I did find my nearest movie theatre and the Target and the nearest grocery store, so I am settling in. Hopefully as time goes by I will become more comfortable here.