Blank Page

Blank page

Cursor blinking at me

As I sit wondering what to write

Typing out of sheer boredom

And avoidance of my work

Homeward bound to stuff my face

Before coming back to the very place that I just left

15 minutes till the bus with nothing to do but debate getting on it

I need to eat I know

But the truth is it might be easier and more productive to stay here

I can wait until 9:00 to eat

As long as I do my homework now

The very work that I am avoiding

I have English and History and math

Which isn’t that much if you think about it

If I get it done later I can do other things

More enjoyable things

No not that get your head out of the gutter

I could instead of homework watch TV and movies

Then sleep and get up in time to take a shower

And start the day again the slow progression of days turning into weeks

Into months

Is boring and repetitive

The only thing that breaks it up is stress

So 10 minutes until the bus now

Still unsure if getting on it

Is the right way to go

If I go home my dog will be happy

I will be in a better mood

But less homework will get done and although the only thing

That I have due tomorrow is my math it will still be annoying

In an effort to keep my grades up

Perhaps I should stay here

But that will only do me good if I do my homework

Which would mean this poem has to end

And I am rather enjoying writing it

Either way the poem has to end

With 7 minutes till the bus and still no idea what to do

I end the poem in an effort

To make myself decide

So that I can make my decision

Instead of the decision making me.

In case anyone cares I wrote this before practice today and I did end up staying at school and doing my homework. I have late practice again tomorrow, but I plan to go home and eat first.

Perfect Man

You seem so perfect

My perfect man

I find it hard to remember

I don’t actually know you

I watch the videos and I watch the shows

I read the Bios, the articles

I save the pictures, memorize the quotes

I laugh when you joke

And smile when you smile

I am happy when you are happy

Yet sad when you are in a relationship

I want you all to myself

And yet I want to share you

Want others to understand why I love you

I can never remember that I am one of the thousands who love you

And I can’t seem to wrap my head around

The fact that I don’t have a chance

You dominate my thoughts and my dreams

And although you distance frustrates me

Here I sit writing about you

You, who more than likely I will never meet

And even if I do

I will be just another lovestruck fan

I need to get over you

And move on to a real man

An attainable man

But if I can ever

Truly do that, I do not know

And so for now I won’t let you go

But rather hold on with all my might and

Hope that someday I find

My actual, attainable, loveable perfect man

I wrote this about an actor in one of my most recent new TV shows. I was really bored at the time and I was thinking about how teenage stars write lyrics all the time, so why couldn't I? It's not very song-like I admit, but I liked so her it is.

25 Things

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I don't really want to do this.

2. I always do things like this when I am avoiding my homework.

3. I am very easily obsessed with movies and TV shows and people (mostly actors and singers)

4. My friend and I have figured out that I get crushes pretty much exclusively on people with talent.

5. Sometimes I think that I can sing, others times I feel like I should never sing again so I am not putting people through the torture.

6. I am still in that place in my life where my dreams are very unreasonable.

7. I drive my friends nuts daily, but I am not sure how to stop.

8. I almost always feel like an outcast.

9. My brain goes to depressing places very quickly no matter what I am doing.

10. I am not confident enough in myself to be confident in anything I like so I get pissed when you insult it.

11. I have a tattoo and want more. Maybe all kinds of protection symbols.

12. I have thought about dieing my hair many times, but never do because I am afraid that even after it grows out it will never be the same.

13. My music tastes range from REO Speedwagon to AC/DC to Demi Lovato to Deep Purple to Taylor Swift to Kansas and pretty much everything else.

14. I have a pretty strong personality but I never really have the motivation to fight with my friends when they tell me I am wrong or that something I like sucks.

15. I feel embarrassed for people who obviously are not embarrassed for themselves.

16. My thought process is so unlinear it's ridiculous.

17. I empathize with people that most people are horrified or disgusted by.

18. I am mortified by how emo and scary I sound writing this.

19. My mom is my best friend, except when she drives me nuts.

20. My favorite part of history is from 1920 to now. I love World Wars I & II.

21. I would love to write a book or create a Tv show that has a cult following like Harry Potter or Buffy.

22. I would rather be alone watching a movie or a book than with people. Fictional people are more trustworthy and at least around them I don't have to walk around on eggshells and can show it when I get mad.

23. I talk to myself all the time.

24. I read a ton and I have tried to read the classics, but I often have an issue with the language.

25. I am in advanced classes, but I daily feel like I am going to die from the work load.


Well, wasn't that strange and mildly depressing. I really shouldn't do those random things the only thing that happens is badness. Wait there is one more thing I have to say. It's really starting to piss me off that I have "What you feel" from the Buffy musical stuck in my head.